I thought it was going to be only once or twice that I was going to be homeless, be chased by a pack of animals, hide from the police, break in a house (from the second floor), have a huge chinese vs foreigners fight, sleep at a complete stranger’s house, etc. but no, it now happens on a weekly basis that something fucked up happens to me. So now I’m going to write every week about my unfortunate experiences. So tonight I went out with my swedish friend Rebecca and her parents, I’m editing the whole evening cause then it’ll be too long, so let’s skip jump to the end. All right, so I was staying at a friend’s house for the first time, it’s the first time I’ve ever been to his house so I’m not very savvy on how to get there (it was a saturday and I got to my friend’s house on friday evening, meaning that I had only seen the way there when it was already dark). So It was like 10pm-10:30pm when Rebecca and I split paths because I didn’t have any money to pay the taxi from the city center to my friend’s house (I only had 40 Yuans) and plus i needed to wake up early the next day. So I get a taxi and the only address I have is the name of the street where my friend lived, wonderful I thought. When we got there (the taxi was 30 Yuans, so now I have 10 Yuans) I had no idea where I was, but it was the correct address and my phone was beyond dead so I couldn’t call my friend. It was like a huge highway with some construction sites on one side of the street and some office buildings on the other side. I recognized where I was cause one of the office buildings had a poster that said “OFFICE BUILDINGS FROM GERMANY!” cause I had seen it last night, so I was like “YAY i’m not completely lost!” wrong, I went to the office building but I still had no idea where I was, I kept on walking in circles around the place until I saw this supermarket which we’ve been to yesterday and I was like “YES I REMEMBER THIS!” so I kept on walking that way and I saw a restaurant that we’ve been too, and I remembered him mentioning that the apartment buildings behind the restaurant plaza where part of his apartment neighborhood. So I yelled victory when I got to the gate of his neighborhood, I waited for someone to open the gate with their card so I could come in with them, when I got inside I realized it was all lost. The neighborhood was a city, it had like hundreds of apartment buildings and I had no idea which one was his. I don’t recall any number or any special characteristics, and they all looked the same. I was doomed. The worse part is that it was raining, and quite hard. So I started walking, and walking, and walking, and walking, and walking, and walking, and kept on walking. And I kept on walking until I saw these bunch of elephants and I thought “I think I saw these elephants this morning…” and so I walked a little further and I found the gate that I had used that morning! I yelled victory once again thinking that I know totally knew which apartment was his. I then walked in the direction I was sure I walked this morning, only to find out I knew in what AREA the building was, yet I had no clue which one it was, so I went to every building trying the doors to see if any of them were open so I could sneak in and see if that was the building, but the only 2 buildings that were open were not them. So I walked through the back of each building, the back of each building was a garden (remember it was raining.) and it was a mud paradise, I walked through the back cause I thought I’d recognize the place if I saw it from behind (because they live in the 1st floor and I kinda remembered how the backside looked) but no success, all i got from these were muddy shoes. I then kept on walking to see if my friend would magically come out and yell “it’s here! comeee!” but that also didn’t happen. After an hour of walking and figuring out which one it could be I decided to take more action, I saw some of the building has the windows to the “lobby” opened, so I tried to break in through the window. Problem was, the window was extremely high and my shoes were extremely wet and the window was also very small. But here my hidden chinese monkey skills came to shine and I actually got in through the window! I was so proud of myself that for a second I didn’t even care where my friend lived. Hell, I could leave and join a circus now, I was awesome. Anyway, I had to break in into 2 more buildings and neither of them were my friend’s building, it was quite unfortunate. I then did another round of shoe mudding and running through gardens to see if a lightbulb would light, but nothing. 2 hours and a half had already past since I got to the neighborhood, it was impossible that it took me so long to find the goddamn building! So I started listing everything I already knew about his building: -He lived in the first floor -It’s on the right side of the building -It’s in front of an elevator - and it was close to the elephants So these clues actually helped me cut down the list, so I went to every building that had the elevator on the right side of the building and called every room in the first floor, none of them were my friends and none of the Chinese that answered could speak English… 3 hours now, I then walk around to see if SOMEONE is walking around (it was midnight and it was STILL raining hard) I then find this girl who speaks some english and ask her if she could help me, she said she was in a rush and she was very sorry, pff I made up that excuse giirl. So since I figured I wasn’t going to stumble upon anyone else I might just give a try asking the police if they could speak any English, and as expected they didn’t. Another round of walking and seeing if there was any open window or open door I could sneak in, but without any luck. 4 hours had passed and I was getting frustrated, I couldnt find the goddamn building yet! So I then go to a market near the apartment neighborhood and find 2 girls there, the cashier and a girl talking to the cashier, I ask them if any of them speak English and they both replied “I dont understand” in Chinese. So I decided to get over my fear and TRY to explain to them the situation in Chinese and that if they could get my sim card into their cellphone so I could call my friend. Amazingly enough, they understood me and inserted my SIM card into their cellphone and I could finally call my friend, I told him I’d meet him at the elephant place. I then thanked the girls with a HUUUGE hug and told them I loved them like a million times and told them they were my favorite people ever. So I go to the elephant place and by the time my friend arrived 5 hours had already passed since I had arrived in the neighborhood, he then took me home. The worse part is that I went to his building and I CALLED ALL OF THE APARTMENTS IN THE FIRST FLOOR! Unfortunately, I did not know that HIS building had one more apartment in the first floor… their apartment was 103 and I had called 102 and 101… I then finally arrive home SOAKING WET (even with the umbrella I looked like if I had just gotten out of a pool) and changed. I wonder what will happen next week.
